You Aint So Hard

You Aint So Hard

It's been a year since Dally and Johnny passed and Two-Bit finds himself stumbling to the grave site. He's been drinking; it's no surprise. He's always drinking.

He stumbles into the gate and eventually finds the spot where Dally's body had been thrown to rest. He's surprised he can fine it. His eyes are a little blurry and he's a little more drunk than he's been in a long while.

He slumps to the grassy spot by Dally's grave. He starts his greeting by emptying half of his bottle onto his friend's grave. It's late, and he's alone, but he prefers it that way.

"Have a drink ya no good hood," he says as he leans against the small stone that marks Dally's grave.

After that he takes a minute to just breathe a little. The silence and the cool night air is sobering him a little, but not too much. It's a good thing it's not. Two-Bit doesn't like being much of anywhere when he doesn't have a nice buzz going.

He looks around the grave yard at the tiny little stones and the grass the looks more yellow than green. It's the place where greasers and hoods lay to rest.

It's a shithole.

But as a greaser Two-Bit figures Dally's used to living in shitholes.

"It's been a year." Two-Bit tells Dally as he drinks what's left in his bottle before he leans it against Dally's grave.

"Everyone's been pretty upset, ya know? It got around this time of year again and everyone just got real sad. Ponyboy's been trying not to take it too hard, but he's just a kid, ya know?" Two-Bit pauses as though he expects Dally to answer.

"Yeah, just turned fifteen. He's growin' up pretty fast. Startin' ta get big like Soda and Darry. Gettin' real tuff. You wouldn't believe it Dally." Two-Bit tells him. Then he sighs.

"Think they've all been ta see Johnny. Figure you know that though. Mean, I figure you and Johnny stick together up there, ya know? Stick together in greaser heaven. Always wonder if we go ta different heaven than the Soc's." His thoughts trail off, but he leads them back.

"I don't know why they don't see you more. Well, guess I do. They finally figured you out. They realized you didn't love no one but Johnny. They should've already known. Wasn't no secret. Guess maybe they knew, just didn't realize what hell only living for one person is." Two-Bit doesn't know what he's even trying to say as he pulls at the grass at Dally's grave.

"I've heard 'em talk about not turnin' into what you did. You know, not turnin' so hard ya can't feel. I don't know, I never bought that. You were so hard you let little Johnny Cade follow you around like a puppy. Fuck, you was so hard ya fell for him. Real tuff, Dal. Real tuff. You weren't no heartless bastard. You just didn't want ta hurt so ya got angry instead, but ya couldn't be angry at little Johnnycake. No, not even you. You weren't no different than the rest of us. Aint no different than me drinking. Aint no harder than anyone else. Toughest hood in Tulsa my ass. You needed the kid to breathe. You aint so tuff." Two-Bit tells Dally. He's looking at the stone and his blurry eyes can almost picture Dally sneering at him angrily.

"Nah, if you was that hard you wouldn't a looked twice at Johnny, but you did. You loved 'im. Hope I aint ratting you at to him right now, but I figure he knows by now. Heck, I figured it out. Probably only figured it out cause of shit with Pony. Did you know I liked Pony? He's fifteen now. Not so bad. Figure Darry'd kill me though. Then Soda. Then maybe Pony. I don't think he knows." Two-Bit explains. He's never admitted his feeling out loud before, but he figures the only person Dally would tell is Johnny and he'd be okay with that.

"But you watched Johnny like I did Pony. Figure you knew, didn't say nothin' cause I didn't. I didn't care though. Always thought it was kinda nice that you loved him. Big bad Dallas Winston in love with little Johnny Cade. It's kinda goofy, huh?" Two-But asks.

"I was sad you did what you did. Wish you was still around. We could use someone like you ta tell everyone to harden up and move on. Guess you'd be the one worse off though, huh? But it's okay that you died. I aint mad at you for doin' it. I just hope you're happy now. That's all we wanted for you. We wanted you to smile. Like how Johnny made you smile. Heh, bet you smile all the time now, huh Dallas? I hope they let you have sex up there. And drink, and have a smoke when ya need it. Figure that aint much to ask." Two-Bit reasons.

"I just wanted to come see you Dally. Tell you I hope you and Johnny are happy. Hope you aint still trying to act so hard. You did the best you could. Aint no one who should be mad at you for that. Johnny wouldn't be." The light was coming up and Two-Bit knew it was about time to end his visit.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flower he'd brought with him. He then stuck the stem in his empty beer bottle.

"Figure it'd be nice to leave something." Two-Bit says with a smile. He can just imagine Dally rolling his eyes at the gesture.

He stands up to leave when a strong gust of wind blows over the empty beer bottle and the flower goes sailing into the air until it lands on a different grave. Two-Bit knows whose grave it is, but walks over anyway.

The flower he'd put on Dally's grave was now resting on Johnny's.

"Well, Johnnycakes, who'd of thought you'd turn Dally into such a romantic?" Two-Bit laughs as he says it.

He leaves the grave yard with a happy grin on his face. Maybe it was just the wind that moved the flower, but he didn't buy that.